wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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