What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize