he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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