oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize