You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize