Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
