i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
