Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
