zippers are such a cool invention
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
