Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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