i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
