Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
