OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
