the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
