I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
