I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
