before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
