Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
