surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
