Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
