i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
