you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
