i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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