I smell stomach acid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
