You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
