bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
