where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
