3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
