My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just cropdusted the office
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize