You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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