haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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