i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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