come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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