evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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