i think my tv is drunk
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
