I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
