you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
