you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize