His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
