i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize