I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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