The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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