Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
