i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
