I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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