Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
