Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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