Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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