I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
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I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This house was built for laser tag.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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