I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
