Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Randomize
