I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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