I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
