We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im holly from the hills drunk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
