I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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