i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
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sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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