You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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