Please, let me fuck your mom
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
