I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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