I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
