Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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