To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
