and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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Another day, another engagement, another cat
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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